the psychotic killer that never was

From the title of the post, you should already be able to understand that I have had a very traumatic day/ night. Woke up too early, was sick and miserable all day.. went shopping with my mom and her friend (who we call Pothole because she's special and we love her) at two different Bent-n-Dent stores. Then had Chinese food. Came home and took care of things around the house, cooked supper and around nine p.m. left the house to go pick up a buddy at the Birmingham airport with momma. From my house, getting there is about an hour and a half, so we had plenty of time to get there. By the time we hit Gadsden though, we were both pretty grouchy. We finally pick Brandon up and get on the way home.. We pick fun at each other for a while, then just listen to the radio for most of the way home. (Feel like I'm losing ya skippy, don't worry, the funny part is almost here.)

No joke, the dumpster dive literally happened.

So we get my buddy to his place after I go all delirious from lack of sleep and cause tons of amusement for mom and Brandon. Not to mention after mom dumpster dived behind Petco. I'm not going into details, but I was trying to hide in the passenger seat the whole time. I was not going to be part of that brand of craziness. I even thought about leaving her there, but then I would've felt bad... (Yes me.)
Anyway, we're about to make our turn next to the Spring Garden General Store when we noticed something wasn't quite right. Lights were on and someone was sitting in a new Chevy Silverado at 12:30 in the morning. I was thinking crazy psychotic killer and please Lord, don't let her stop here and get shot. I don't want to be in the witness protection program, and I don't want to die. Now, I realize that Piedmont is a really small town, and for someone to get shot at the general store is ludicrous, but you gotta understand, it was late, and I was tired and sick, I just wanted to get home and crawl into my incredibly uncomfortable bed. 

This is expected... Then again.. Free friggin' candy.

After my moaning and complaining and begging about her not to stop and just go home and I was sure it was nothing. Then it dawned on me... Who in the WORLD would be at the SG general store at 12:30 in the morning?? *sigh. So I curled up in a ball and prayed that I wouldn't have to do any quick thinking, (I mean, it's not the kind of vehicle you expect to see a psycho in.) and got ready to bail if needed. So my mom, being the person that she is....., walks up to the guy, who by the way is still in the truck, and talks for a few minutes. I was in the passenger seat freaking out. (Please don't think less of me, because, again, I am sick and tired.) She gets back in our battered up Scion and tells me who the guy was. So it was no problem, we knew the guy and everything was fine.
I figured I'd get a few laughs (at me:(  for this post... all of it is completely and totally true. i stayed up an extra fourty minutes just to tell y'all about it, so please be nice.

Ninja Pirate Vs. Demon Dragon

arrgh

rawr

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a ninja pirate fighting a demon dragon in the sky? Well duh! Of course you have! You have absolutely too much imagination and time, with no life of your own! (Just kidding people.) Anyway, assuming that you're with the rest of the world, and have played out this epic battle (alone and in your room, actually making sound effects to go along with what's happening in your head), you know that it's a close match. You, as the ninja pirate, have stealth and awesomeness on your side, but the dragon has fire breath and wings and, let's face it, he is just flat out better than you.

Until your parrot breaks out in some major awesome dance moves! All you need is Frosty (the super awesome parrot to the above) and a CD that has Willow Smith's (awful) song- Whip My Hair. Feel free to use ear plugs guys, I promise, I won't be insulted. But after your, *cough cough, lamer version of Frosty breaks out into dance moves, the dragon has no chance! Right?

Like this poor sap's. Sorry dude.

Well the epicness of the battle is enough to blow someone's mind. Needless to say, that in the imagination of a bored person, the ninja pirate wins every time.